what do you do, when the person you have loved, and quickly lost, then tried to move on from for months (finally getting to a point that you thought was successful; happy in your own relationship, comfortable and loved (although not quite happy)), tells you that his own relationship is crumbling and his feelings for you are the main reason behind it (even after you’ve ended all contact for months)?
——onmyphonesonoREADMOREbutifyou’reinterested——
I’m fine. I feel content in my current relationship but it’s very off balance in how much he cares for me over how much I care for him. I changed him. I saved him from depression and showed him that he’s such an amazing person, I care for him so much, and he cares for me, he sees me, and knows me so well, and loves me completely. he is so great.. but he isn’t for me, not romantically anyway, I’ve been trying to tell myself that he is, but if I were to choose it wouldn’t be him. he is a best friend/brother type person I want in my life. it’s unlikely I can get that back with him now though.
To make matters more complicated my living situation is with my boyfriend and I have no where to go if we break up. I feel like I have little choice but to lie to him about what’s going on in my head right now, where usually I’d tell him straight up. I can’t end my relationship, or risk it at all really, by telling my boyfriend that I’ve resurfaced feelings for this guy I’m supposed to be over, and am considering breaking up with him in the hopes that the other relationship will also end and I’ll have somewhere to live, that is so wrong! especially when I don’t know if I do even have a place to live with him. I’d be risking it all for the chance that he will end his relationship and come running to me with a place to stay.
I don’t even think that his relationship should end, from an emotionless point of view, I do hope that him and his girlfriend can work it out, because she loves him.. and he does love her, although he is sometimes a little sketchy about it, she could be good for him if he would let her in.
..but it means I’m having all these doubts and can’t see a way of being honest without wrecking everything.
being an adult it hard, and I’m not even technically an adult for 6 days yet!
wild-lion:
have you ever been so wildly attracted to someone you can actually feel it driving you insane
Anonymous asked: did you break up with your loser boyfriend yet?
I did not :) he’s pretty great
Anonymous asked: but you could tell your boyfriend it's just for money and then it wouldn't be cheating since you didn't hide it...
it’s not a case of him not allowing me though
Anonymous asked: Whenever you disagree with someones opinion you just disregard it as they have a closed mind which isn't necessarily true. Everybody has a different definition of a closed mind and just because everyone isnt willing to try drugs or date a drug dealer doesnt mean they have a closed mine, but that means they have no right to question or have input in your life decisions.
if the criticism given to me is presented something like how you have done here and isn’t purposely offensive then I will definitely listen and try to take it on, but when someone is just attacking me, my boyfriend and his old work with no actual point but to try to offend? I don’t think that is the kind of thing I will ever listen to. I called them closed minded because they made it obvious they believe anyone who deals drugs is a horrible person who deserves to die, if that isn’t closed minded I don’t know what is. you are right though, it takes a little something for me to listen to criticism, just like most human beings, but in this case I was just fending of pointless and frankly idiotic insults.
Anonymous asked: would you consider watching a guy jerk off cheating? if not, what would i have to do to get you to watch me? how much money would it take? you don't even have to get on cam.
yeah I probably would. I’m good, thanks..
Anonymous asked: Can you or jerome sell me some weed please?
unfortunately neither of us sells anymore
Anonymous asked: your drug dealer boyfriend is a cutie pie! a short cutie pie, but a cutie pie nonetheless
awh he isn’t short, he looks short cause he hunches his shoulders a really large amount. the first time he stood up straight right next to me I did a double take.
Anonymous asked: It is going 2 b so weird/interesting 2 see your reaction when something happens between you 2. A drug dealer deserves nothing more than a shit life and for u 2 choose 2 b with him, makes u just as bad as him. Ur life is so fucked up. U were better off with ur other boyfriends because at least they didn't deal..lol
seriously? I feel sorry for you if you are going through life with such a closed mind. I also feel sorry for you if you don’t really mean that stuff and said it just to hurt me or my boyfriend.
he doesn’t deal anymore, he always saw it as business anyway. he just saw the need and fulfilled it for his school, and after school finished, his friends. we currently live together and he is working and I’m trying to find work. we’re both pretty decent people I reckon, he just hadn’t found anyone worth being decent around.
and as for that other boyfriend comment.. none of my other boyfriends cared as much as Jerome does. he knows me better than anyone and loves me, that’s good enough for me.
